Ephesians 6:4

In Ephesians 6:4, the apostle Paul clarifies the importance of “fathers” in the spiritual training of their own children. It may be that some fathers have the idea their job is simply to “put food on the table for their kids.” Perhaps you have heard a father say of spiritual things, or education or moral training, “I leave that up to their mother.” According to Paul, a father with such an attitude has the wrong attitude!

Yet, how often do we see many mothers headed to church services every Sunday with a bundle of kids and no help from the father? How much more common is it to see Dad get home from work and turn on the television instead of helping Mom correct, instruct and encourage the kids. Paul gives three main tips to all Christian fathers within this passage. Fathers who want the best for their children should listen.

The first bit of advice is negative. In other words, Paul tells the patriarch of the family what not to do. He says, “...do not provoke your children to wrath…” Since the Christian father is to be careful not to provoke their children to wrath, we must know what actions provoke such an attitude in our children. Sometimes the embarrassing and hurtful sins of a father can lead their child to be angry toward their parents. Joseph’s brothers were provoked by the partiality of their father, Jacob, to Joseph (Genesis 37:3). Some fathers have a tendency to be overly critical, while never balancing criticism with praise. Whatever the source of provocation, fathers need to have the wisdom, maturity and kindness to avoid this dangerous circumstance.

The next instruction of Paul is positive. Fathers should have a role in the “training” of their child. Some versions have the term “nurture” in the place of “training.” Yet, “training” is a better translation because it more clearly refers to the spiritual teaching fathers should be doing. If our children are taught morals by nature itself, they will be taught wrong  (Ephesians 2:3). Fathers should be there to educate their children in reference to God’s expectations for the mind and morals.

Finally, Paul teaches fathers to bring up their children in the “admonition of the Lord.” R.C. Trench says the word “admonition” is “...a training by word—by the word of encouragement, when that is sufficient, but also by that of remonstrance, of reproof, of blame, where these may be required, as set over against the training by act and discipline….” Fathers should be there not just as a physical example or punisher of the child. Instead, they must also teach by speaking to their children the words of wisdom that are so valuable if godly fathers are to raise godly children.

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