Ephesians 5:33
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
The application of this passage could solve many
of the marital difficulties that abound in our world today.
The first half of the verse deals with the husband’s responsibility
towards his wife. He is to “love his own wife as himself…” First
of all, notice the term “own” in this context. He is to love
“his own wife.” His love, affection and sacrifices are not to be
made for some other man’s wife. His goal should not be to please some
other woman besides his “own wife.” His love is focused on her.
In fact, in an earlier context, Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love
your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for
her.” This passage teaches the husband more about how his love is to
be expressed. Our society has a bad habit of equating “love” with
“sexuality.” Clearly, the type of “love” Christ showed toward the church
had nothing to do with sexuality. Thus, when Paul parallels a husband’s
love for his wife to Christ’s love for the church we must look to the
deeper principles.
As husbands, we must be willing to sacrifice for our wives—just as
Christ sacrificed Himself for the church. Husbands must be willing to
ably and gently lead their homes in the truth—as Christ led His
disciples. As husbands, there will be moments when we must be willing to
forgive—as Christ was willing to forgive us. Finally, we must provide a
consistent example of our love—as Jesus provided a constant, untiring
love for His church.
Yet, Paul also deals with the wife’s role towards the husband in verse
33. He writes, “...let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
One of the simplest ways a wife respects her husband is through her
submission to him. Again, in the earlier context of the passage Paul
writes, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”
(5:22). He also says, “...just as the church is subject to Christ, so
let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (5:24). Though
many want to take the term “obey” or “submit” out of their
marriage vows, it was God’s plan for an effective marriage.
Just as it is disrespectful for a child to disobey his parents, it is
also disrespectful for a Christian wife to disobey or belittle her
husband. The most effective way to impress and influence a husband is to
respect him (1 Peter 3:1-6). The best way to show respect towards him is
to recognize the role God has given him as the leader of the home and
the woman’s role as the “helper for him” (Genesis 2:18; 1
Corinthians 11:3).
Of course, this all works best when the ultimate leader in your marriage
is Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3).
May 2006