God vs. Society on Marriage
There is a sharp contrast between the way society
views sex, marriage, divorce and remarriage and the revelation of God on
the subject. It may be helpful to look at what is commonly accepted and
compare it to what is divinely expected for mankind. Notice some key
points…
Society believes we have outgrown an outdated Bible.
Because of this, they feel God’s laws about marriage are obsolete and
useless for the contemporary man today. Thus, fornication, adulterous
marriage, homosexual unions and no-fault divorce have become accepted
under a vague notion of “love.”
Jesus Christ taught that “love” begins with God.
Matthew 22:37,38 teaches, “You shall love the Lord your God with all
your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the
first and great commandment.” We must not forget that this “love”
is not just emotion. In fact, the Scriptures teach it is shown in
keeping God’s commandments. 1 John 5:3 says, “For this is the love of
God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not
burdensome.” The world teaches God’s commandments are too difficult
and outdated. Yet, God teaches those who truly love Him will obey the
commands. Does Jesus teach marriage is outdated? No, in fact, he
backdates it to the very beginning. In Matthew 19 Jesus refers to
“the beginning” two times. The simple concept of marriage God
founded in the beginning is still the fundamental principle for all
marriages today under Jesus Christ. Thus, marriage is not outdated. In
most cases, we haven’t gone back far enough!
Society believes sex before marriage is unavoidable and necessary.
We often hear people say things like, “well, it’s important for us to
live together before we’re married so we don’t get married and find out
we hate each other.” Others act as though it is not realistic or even
possible to abstain from sex before marriage. Some excuse their actions
by saying, “well, you’ve got to test the water before you jump in.”
Media, movies and music make it sound like the key to a happy
relationship is a good sex life.
The Bible teaches we are to abstain from pre-marital sex.
The bedroom should be a place reserved for marriage. Hebrews 13:4 says,
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but
fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” 1 Corinthians 6:18
commands, “Flee sexual immorality.” Christians should have the
confidence to realize they can exercise “self-control” and they
can overcome temptation (2 Peter 1:6; 1 Corinthians 10:13). Also, while
sex is a factor in marriage—it should never be the factor in a marriage
or else it is likely to supersede our responsibilities to God (1
Corinthians 7:1-9). One more thing—to those who think marriage will be
more successful by living together beforehand…the statistics prove
otherwise. If you will not respect God’s law before the marriage, the
likelihood of respecting it during marriage diminishes.
Society proposes the concept of homosexual marriages.
This is one of the hottest topics in our government right now. Some are
trying to legalize gay marriages and others are trying to place a ban on
gay marriages. To the Christian, is there such a thing as a “homosexual
marriage?”
The Bible teaches that marriage is between a man and a woman.
There would be no need for a ban on same-sex marriage if this
“Christian” nation had God’s law written on their hearts. We should
already have same-sex marriage banned in our minds and consciences.
Jesus referred His disciples back to the beginning. We should go there
too. Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Jesus
also says, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning
made them male and female…” (Matthew 19:4). This passage is specific
and it excludes by what it specifies. Man leaves and cleaves to his
wife. God made humans male and female. If man was meant to be with man
the woman would never have been created from Adam’s rib.
Society accepts the concept of no-fault divorce.
Many folks throw their hands up in the air and say, “well, the marriage
just isn’t working out, so we’re getting a divorce.” The reasons might
include money difficulties, relationship boredom, abuse, neglect, bad
cooking, smelly morning-breath, or just outright selfishness. These
reasons are blindly accepted as justifiable in the eyes of many people.
Many of our modern movies, soap operas and sitcoms revolve around these
themes and seek to glamorize it.
Jesus Christ teaches there is one reason for divorce.
Matthew 19:8,9 says, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife,
except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery….”
In a college class, an instructor once told us, “Whoever misses class on
a test date, except with a doctor’s excuse, will not be allowed to
retake the test.” The class knew what this meant. There was one
reason—sickness documented by a doctor—for students to miss a test. How
much more important is it for us to heed the one exception made by Jesus
Christ for marriage? Moses might have allowed divorce. Our society might
allow it. However, civil permission does not allow us to ignore the
divine decrees. It should make us more cautious of them.
Society compromises and allows unscriptural remarriages.
An individual who is divorced without Scriptural validation has no right
to remarry. Yet, our culture likes to say, “well, I hope he/she will be
happier in this marriage.” Is our happiness all that matters? When are
we going to begin to realize that sacrificing our desires and bending to
God’s will pleases the Almighty (Hebrews 13:16)? Yet, many Christians
are silent and accommodating with their counterparts who have remarried
without the right. Some discourage repentance and simply say, “well,
just pray about it.” Others mock with words like, “God can’t expect me
to give up my wife and children.”
The Bible teaches the danger of an unauthorized marriage.
This issue is hidden from many because of emotionalism. A good reading
of Ezra 9 and 10 helps us see what God expects in repentance. The
Israelites who had married pagan wives had to put them away. Some of
them even “had children” (10:44). We are under a different law
today. However, our repentance is quite similar. John the Baptist told
Herod he had no right to his “brother Philip’s wife” (Matthew
14:4). Was the man with “his father’s wife” from Corinth supposed
to just pray about it or was he to put her away (1 Corinthians 5)? Let
us never forget to “do works befitting repentance” (Acts 26:20).
Adulterers must turn from their sins (1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Galatians
5:19-21).
Society or God?
“…let God be true but every man a liar” (Romans 3:4).