Question:
How does one deal with feeling sorry for oneself?
Answer:
In 2 Corinthians 7, two types of sorrow are
referenced by Paul—worldly sorrow and godly sorrow.
A worldly sorrow is one that consists only of regret, but not
repentance. A godly sorrow combines regret with the will to turn from
the actions which led to guilt and regret—our sins.
The consequences of each sorrow are complete opposites. Paul writes in
verse 10, “For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation,
not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”
In other words, if you are truly sorry about the effect your sins have
on your relationship with God you will do something about it. If not,
your personal “pity party” will continue until death and will lead to
condemnation.
In the Beatitudes of Jesus He says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for
they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:3,4). It is good when we realize
our spiritual needs and mourn over the sad spiritual estate of the
world. But, recognition and regret are not the only qualifications for
finding happiness. Also within the Beatitudes one must, “hunger and
thirst for righteousness” (Matthew 5:6). Regret needs to be coupled
with the will to turn from the unrighteousness to righteousness which
brings the Lord’s blessing.
Solomon found out that obeying God’s commandments was the real purpose
to man’s life and a key to happiness. He summed up Ecclesiastes saying,
“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His
commandments, for this is man’s all” (12:13).
James, the Lord’s brother wrote, “Therefore submit to God. Resist the
devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near
to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you
double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to
mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the
Lord, and He will lift you up” (4:7-10).
Thus, if you feel sorry for yourself because of your sin, obeying the
Lord is a key to turning that sorrow into thanks for the Lord’s mercy
and grace.
However, sorrow may also be a result of one’s circumstances. We may
“feel sorry for ourselves” because of what others have done to us. Even
so, this too can be overcome.
Do you have family problems or enemies? Joseph did too. He was sold into
slavery by his brothers and unjustly imprisoned. Yet, he overcame and
was second to Pharaoh in Egypt.
Have you lost money, your home, health or loved ones? Job did too. Yet,
after the trials he was more blessed than before (Job 42:12).
Must you deal with a difficult spouse? So did Abigail. He almost got her
killed. Yet, God blessed her for her upright character despite Nabal’s
foolishness (1 Samuel 25).
Examples abound of righteous people suffering and succeeding, including
Christ (1 Peter 2:21). We can overcome if we do not allow the sorrow to
cripple us and look to God to free us.
March 2006