Overcomplicating Parenting
Since becoming a parent I’ve heard my share of
parenting clichés. I’ve heard the, “you know, parenting is a complicated
thing.” Friends say, “no two kids are alike.” Others exclaim, “you spend
the first two years trying to get your kids to talk and the rest of your
life you can’t get them to be quiet!”
Really, as you think about it, parenting is not as complicated as we
might think. In fact, we might even overcomplicate it at times. Because
ultimately, our real goal in raising our children is summed up in one
word—obedience.
Colossians 3:20 says, “Children, obey your parents in all things, for
this is well pleasing to the Lord.” There are two sides to this
command. The first is the need for children to obey. Yet, that implies
parents must teach. No child can obey what they are not taught. So,
where does obedience start? It starts with parents teaching their
children.
The children (and parents) of Israel were told in Deuteronomy 6:6,7,
“...these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You
shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them
when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down,
and when you rise up.” In other words: teach, teach, teach!
Now, of course our teaching must include convincing, correcting and
praising (2 Tim. 4:2). But, if we are constantly communicating, teaching
and loving our children as God commands we will some day find our
children responding with the parent’s favorite verb— “obey.”
Once we have convinced and instilled in our children the need to obey,
we can conquer all of the other little battles of parenting. You know,
the dramatic episodes that make parenting soooo complicated? Obedience
is the key.
Is little Susie having problems sharing with her playmates? Does little
Johnny like to beat up on and bully around his friends? Has your
teenager been especially rebellious and mouthy? They probably do not
need more money, more bribes or more counseling. These problems are all
at the root of a larger, encompassing issue—an unacceptable
disobedience.
Interestingly, as our children learn the authoritative nature of the
parent, they will also have a better understanding of God’s right to
reign in their lives (Hebrews 12:5-11). So, consistently and constantly
teach, correct and love your children and obedience will come. That’s
how God works on you, you’ll have to trust His plan to work on your kids
too!
July 2005