Rachel vs. Leah
The whole account of Jacob's marriage to Rachel and Leah is enough to fill the modern-day reader's Bible margins full of questions like...
- Why did Laban allow his daughter to marry her first cousin (Gen. 29:10, 13)?
- If Laban knew it was customary to allow the eldest daughter to marry first, why did he not just tell Jacob (Gen. 29:20-26)?
- Why did Laban allow both his daughters to marry the same man (Gen. 29:23, 28)?
- Did God approve of Jacob's marriages (Gen. 29:30-31)?
We may not be able to answer all of these questions with any direct statement from the Bible. However, we may be able to see, by the trouble that followed, the dangerous fruits of the foolish decisions that are made within this passage that revolves around Laban's two daughters, Leah and Rachel.
First, we see a marriage decision based on lust, not logic. Genesis 29:18 says, "Jacob loved Rachel..." Yet, in the verse immediately preceding we get an idea of the reasoning behind his love. "Leah's eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance" (29:17). Leah may have been older and first in line for the customary arranged marriage, but she just was not as good-looking. So, Jacob bypasses custom and makes an offer on the younger Rachel. If the two sisters were privy to this information, already there would be jealousy and friction between the two of them. Such petty trifles still cause rifts today.
Second, we read of a father-in-law not interested in keeping his word. Laban had promised to give Rachel to Jacob (29:19). Yet, he backed out on the wedding night, sneaking Leah in on Jacob in the darkness (29:23). Jacob consummates the marriage and does not know until morning it was with Leah (29:25). Laban justifies his deceit with family custom and cuts another deal with Jacob so he can have Rachel (29:26-27). Do you think that a deceitful, conniving father may pass on these traits to his daughters (see 30:14-16)?
Third, we see Jacob willing to marry Rachel, despite already having a wife, Leah (29:30). Leah may not have made Jacob's heart throb and she may have been uglier, but she was still his wife. Once Laban renegotiated, Jacob agreed to taking on a second wife. Thus he was just as much "one flesh" with Leah as he was with Rachel. Yet, his affection was mostly given in Rachel's direction. The only glimpse we get of what God thinks of the situation may be in verse 31, "When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren." God blesses the one Jacob originally married and does not grant children, until years later, to Rachel.
Throughout the rest of the account, we see Rachel and Leah vying for the attention of their husband, feuding and doing their best to "one-up" the other - mostly by having children or letting their maids bear Jacob's children (Gen. 30 31). Do these dueling sisters and those who contributed to their situation have a message for us today? Yes, it might be...
God's original plan is best! Way back in the Garden, God had a plan for marriage (Gen. 2:24). We would see much less of the sisters at war and Jacob's trust issues with his in-laws had they stuck to that original plan of one man, one woman, for a lifetime.
Sharing spouses leads to a host of problems - inferiority complexes, favoritism, rivalry, jealousy, envy ,confusion of children - to name a few. We should not just point the finger at polygamists, but the temptation any person faces in a remarriage situation.
Count your blessings. Rachel spent too much time worried about her lack of children. Leah spent too much time upset about her husband's lack of affection. All the while, Rachel is blessed with beauty and a husband who loves her and Leah is blessed with many children including the lineage of the Messiah (Judah). We often focus on the negatives to the point we blind ourselves to the positives in life.
December 2007